Isn't that baby amazing ?

Time flies

So I've got myself a new employer; Somerset Bay.

As to keep myself busy until next february before I start my medical school in IMU and earning money for traveling and probably to own a suzuki swift. =)

090909

Happiness comes not from what happened to you,

but how you respond to situations. -common sense

Waiting on the world to change

His melodies makes me oh so happy, always.

Forbidden wishes

I think I was thinking too much until my body became tremendously dehydrated, as a result, my tonsils was swollened, heart beat was 140 beat/min, body temp was 39.4 dgree celcius. So I was rushed to the health centre, where they gave me a pill to inserted into my ass to lower my body temperature. It did felt weird. Then they did drippings on me for 2 hours. I was given whole bunch of drugs to be taken and wasn't allowed to fast until I can really get the strength back.

I have feeling that all these are part of a wish.

Silly me to wonder how does it feel like to be warded, to have needles penetrating through the skins. Silly me to wish I can be sick, so I can stay in my room with a reason, so I won't have the guilt of being useless. Now that its coming true, I'm not even allowed to leave my room accept for going to the clinic.

In other news, plan A of going to RCSI in dublin this coming september is totally screwed. I'm just one of the victims from the 2009 recession when everyone's broke. MARA told us if its not for 2009, they would have send us there. Surprisingly, as I'm dying to study in Dublin,there'

s some part of me whom wished I don't have to leave Malaysia. I guess the wish came true. Well I kinda liked my life here and I wished I don't have to be seperated with Iqbal since I totally suck in a long distance relationship. So, life goes on with plan B, which is to futher in International Medical University, where I'll be parting for the first time with all of my mates. They chose Melaka Manipal instead, be flying on the 11th of Sept. Studying in India doesn't really look appealing to me because of so many reasons. Whole 2 weeks, I spent thinking of the pros and cons of the 2 universities. Anyways, I'll go where my heart feels right, which is here, home, Malaysia.

klpac

On friday, me and Iqbal decided to go for some little adventure.

Iqbal with his interesting shoelace

me at an abandoned mansion

set of white sofas in the middle of the park

marching swans looking for food

when Iqbal turned golden

we had our picnic on a metal sofas above the lake

Iqbal's trying to make new best friends. ;P

gimme gimme a wink ;)

Us looking like ghosts

Sweets.

Things have finally fall into places. I believe all the things that had happened previously is indeed a blessing in disguise. If its not for shahputra, I wouldn't have the second opportunity. Well even if I did not fail on the first attempt of Alevels, I surely have only choice of medicine in India since getting a place in Australia is undeniable a pain in the ass. But god has deviced a better plan for me, a plan which has opened a bright door of opportunity on realising my wish since the day I had my spm results, to do medicine in ireland. And there's no better feeling of sweet success after failure, to rise from a downfall. ''what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'' I still remember quoting that phrase for every interview I had been through. It has always dwell in me, to never say I give up, because you only fail once you give up. And the power of will is strong too, because to achieve something is always possible no matter how hard it is, when the will is there one would do anything to realise the dreams. So it had worked for me and also my other mates who had been through all complications with me. Definitely, this is just the beginning of a life long journey as to have a life saving task as an occupation. There are still mountainous of challenges as to realise my big goal, there's still a lot more to do as to prepare myself mentally and physically.

self esteem

I have to wake up again. Be concious and independent. Build up back my self- esteem, be organized,self disciplined, highly motivated, and focus on priorities. I guess myself in the past wouldn't want to see me being pathetic over small matters. I should not let this happen. Because if it is than Im in WASTE. And I should not that let happening because I love myself.

On building up self esteem: there are 10 ways,


1.discovering your true self: identifying your true weakness and strength, feelings and thoughts, where are you headed in life, what does success mean to you.

2.make a list of what you like about yourself: appreciate the positive abilities and personalities. Learn how to love yourself, like improve how you look and never try imitate others. Just love the real you.

3.Never compare yourself with others because you yourself are unique. Never belittle yourself. ( This used to be princip of mine, its like a taboo to belittle myself because it shows your weakness and never show weakness to others as they'll take advantage, and showing of your weakness diminishes your aura). Count your blessings as for good things in life i.e family, health, talents and it does magicaly stimulate the sense of happiness. Always say thank you. Do the best with what god gives you.

4. reengineer yourself. Identify and discard false beliefs on yourself. and set the 'I can do it' positive attitude, because success is 80% attitude and 20% aptitude. practise postive self talk and talk about your winners. Never underestimate your abilities. Overcome your fear by doing the exactly thing that you fear e.g height, loneliness. have faith in god for the things that is beyond your limit and hope for the best.

5. Accept 100% responsibilities for your life. Make firm decision to change your life for the better. determine goals, long terms and short terms. goals should be attainable, reachable and relevant.celebrate your accomplishment and success.

6. let go perfectionisme. No one is perfect. give yourself freedom to fail because perfectionist never feel good enough. Avoid having unreasonable expectations of yourself and others. Avoid labelling yourself or induldge in self criticism.

7. Let go of yournegative past and look to the future. treat mistakes and failures as learning experience or stepping stone to success. avoid saying 'I can't do it' but instead say 'I haven't be able to do it now, but I'll never give up' Be courages and always ready to take risk.

8. WAKE UP HAPPY ! =D start your day with positive thoughts and smile. Associate with high achievers and friends who nourishes. Develop good sense of humor =). Avoid NEGAHOLICS.

9. Monitor progress. Review progress towards the attainment of goals and take corrective action. Adapt well to changes in your life. Maintain perseverance and self discipline.

10. lead a balanced life and seek continuos self improvement. Maintain health through proper nutrition , exercise and sufficient rest. Accept constructive cricticism as one stops learning without it. As how my mum quoted over dinner '' you get comfortable with compliments but you grow up with comments''

Guess I need to work out on balanced life since Im making myself use to having bed time at 4 am and morning at 12 am. So, really, I need to work things out alot. yes, I can ! =)

Bittersweet.

These garments are just amazing especially the white french lace, but the price can murder too because after a discounted price mama had to pay for rm1200 +, I'm hoping for the tailored one doesn't cost as much. So this splurging event happen very occasionally, since I'm very much not interested in buying fabrics at Jalan t.a.r, I've always just let my mum choose for my kain raya , so usually me and my brother would just camwhore in the fabric store. But due to my sister's wedding, and I'll be the bridesmaid for the event, I got enthusiastic in this.

inspired by cruel deville. hardyharhar

****

So, next Tuesday is the day that open up the new path in my future, its the beginning of another chapter. Whether it will turn good or bad, it all happens for a reason, god knows the best for me. I've tried my very best and had all the support from my loved ones and now I'm surrendering to god, or people would call it tawakal. Come what may, I'll always been in gratitude because Allah is the greatest ever.

To live is to change;
to change is to mature;
to mature is to be constantly recreated. -Henri Bergson

Bear Hug.

*sniff. My hair smells like pavement, as turning off it might sound, just because I laid on the floors at the front of P.O.J aka palace of justice, with iqbal, nab and friends looking out for hidden stars at 12 am after nab's birthday dinner. Its 3.30 am now and I'm so exhausted, so, later. zzzZZzz and happy birthday to nurul syazninabila and farah hanani (miss her much) ! =)

etc,etc

Lately paranoia hit me due to spending too much time on the cell phone, e.g two hours each day, not worrying about the bills though but oho on the radiation. Was curioused so I researched and get to know the cell phone radiation can reduce the number of sperm and its aggresiveness, yea its true, especially for boys who normally would place their mobile in the pocket, well obviously you'd think guys carrying around handbags has gender issues, whats more with wigs, thick make up and thight outfits, ergh i've seen them all. so I guess if guys out there wants to be sexually healthy and can help ladies producing babies without difficulties maybe you should let your girlfriends keep your phones in their handbags. No girlfriends? just let your guy friends keep it for you, but thats plain selfish. but the point that terribly worries me, as a girl, is the effect on brain cells, the radiation is known to unwind the dna protein of the nerve cells, resulting in loss of short term memory, and initiation of brain cancer. Having to feel rusted brains and difficulties in concentration has alert me to take safe precautions on cell phones, i.e hand kits, more land phones they don't give out radiation. And so to ensure I did not lose my short term memory, let's recap on the agenda from last week.

on Sunday- attended a talk organized by young Muslim projects, most of the speakers were Muslim converts, one of em was Suhaid Webb, an American whom used to be a hip-hop DJ, a drug dealer and was terribly lost, then he had found the right way of life-Islam and converted to Islam at 20 years of age. Very cool, he delivers his talks as if he's about to rap half way in arabic while clad in baju melayu. besides him, there was a greek converted muslim from britain, Hamzah Green if I'm not wrong talking bout political, economical, and social views on Islam, I really like his Brit accent. What's amazing was I witnessed a lady converts to Islam, I could see from her face she was relieved and joyful. A quality way to spend the weekend. On the night, had a bbq at home with my sister's in law family, totally fun.


on monday- meet up with my childhood friend, Farissa a.k.a Sasha, I've known her since before I realized I exist in this world e.g 2 years old. Had good time catching up with her with my complicated stories of education and her life in Melbourne. Then for the first time, we had fish spa, very ticklish and expensive, Sasha really like the effects. Good times.


on tuesday- invented new cookies, pecan cereal grain cookies, people prefer the original choc chip though.


on wednesday- met sasha again, discussed all way through on the cookies business, come in conclusion to sell each cookie at 70 cents, well yeah with good wrappings. then, kidnapped Iqbal from his house and had mamak dinner with him at nirwana. Good times.


on Friday- catched Harry pothead with Iqbal and had 3 kebabs in the cinema, worth the rm12 I paid? Im not sure, big fan of the novels though.

on Saturday- since I'll be my sis' bridesmaid,I've designed the bridesmaid dress which is made by sari material and get it tailored in Sunway, and planned to have the other bridesmaid dress in glittering black, cool eh?

on Sunday- spend father-daughter time by doing groceries shopping, and made cheese blintzes, very fattening, unhealthy imagine having cream cheese, sugar, butter all in one roll. Everyone loved it though maybe because of its taste of cinnamon.

on Monday- lazy day at home, was only productive during the night, I made yummy banana crumb muffin. I'm not sure why some people find it funny when I said ''I put the banana in the muffin,'' I didn't mean anything literally. so I did few shots on the food I made because the site I've been referring to, the allrecipes, let the reviewers to post up pictures, so I'd guess it'll be cool to have pictures of your food on the web. you get me? ok, lame. bye

today on tuesday- went to Iqbal's house and planned to have meatball sandwich at Ikea then to catch up a movie. Iqbal's college mate wanted to joined us, and it turns out to be 10 of 'em. yeah, the more, the merrier. but felt a lil awkward since I barely know em, esp when you have your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend in the same circle, probably its natural to not get along with bf's ex but I just hope no party is hurt and feeling contemptuous.

nom nom nom nom

endless story on my maid,

''nong, sudah lama ya tidak buat kuih pookie,''
''kuih apa, bik?''
''kuih pookie,'' while pointing out the cookie recipe.
''ohh memang sedap ya kuih puki itu,'' I said dengan selambanya.

choux pastry heart

Ever experience conditions which annoys you terribly like screeching forks over plates, like Dangduts being played LOUDLY while you're playing bowling and worse it get stuck to your head all week, like parents screams over small matter, like hearing Fred's voice until the ear bleeds, like continuous thinking of a vague future, like wild imaginations of ghost lurking around the house because you just happen to see ghost videos. I've been going through these and I need a BREAK.

and one quick solution is, jacuzzi ;)

soak em out fcuk way

just let loose =)

If I happen to be an angry polar bear

Bug bear saving himself from the whirlpool

poured myself with clarins pink rose gel, pampered myself with strawberry pearls and felt ouh so good. Just perfect for a night weekend alone.

None of my titles are relevent.

1. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?:	my birthday cake
2. Honestly, what color is your underwear?:	yellow
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?:	answering questions honestly
4. Honestly, what did you do today?:	wokeup, eat, shower, phone calls, poop, read, online
5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?:	seriously, honestly, i dont think im attractive
6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?:	eat when I suppose to be fasting
7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?:	No
8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?:	envy,yes with my friends studying overseas
9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?:	Iqbal
10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?:	NO
11. Honestly, what is your mood right now?:	anticipating
12.Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?:	i can't drink milk
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?:	yes
14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?:	yes =O but its not that dark
16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?:	no
17. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?:	bug bear =D
18. Honestly, are you loyal?:	yes
19. Honestly, are you in denial?:	yes to people who claim I'm spoiled
20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?:	haha amusing but no
21. Honestly, who is your best friend?:	dura and effa
22. Honestly, have you ever consumed alcohol?:	no
23. Honestly, do you like someone?:	yes, pharell williams
24. Honestly, does anyone like you?:	Im not sure
25. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?:	Im not going anywhere with them, whoever them is..
26. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?:	TOTALLY =D

Don't you bring me down.

This isn't a bad day, I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.


Anyways,yesterday, over dinner.

mama said ''awak ada dengar orang mengamuk di sebelah rumah ya, petang tadi?''
with a blank stare, bibik answered '' di bilik sebelah memang banyak nyamuk,''
supressing my laughs, I said "ma, wait for two minutes, she'll get you by then,''

LOL. Im being mean, but I just can't help it. I tease because I love.

Spacesuit

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Oh.. I do love you,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look i can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is a fade,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh.,..
Your love,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands

There goes my **** ;P

*sigh. Why am I so sad niii =(

Happiness please !

Its not my ass, its the pants.

'' I always wonder why my maid loves to talk to herself,''
'' Probably she was talking to you,''
Pause.
''Ouhh, I've never thought of it that way.''

Orion's Belt on my Face

Today, I went for hiking at Bukit Gasing as part of the punishment by Iqbal for savoring on KFC yesterday. The place was totally deserted, obviously who would want to go hike at 12 pm. So since there was no one else, we sang songs.. I know lame but since there was no any other ears, our voices are as good as inaudible. Reminds me of the infamous question: if there's no one to hear the gushing sounds of leaves, would there still be sound? people still be asking the same thing and researches are still going on for it. But if its for me, of course there will, sound is a type of wave and the ear is just sensor. Unless the surrounding is vacuum , there wont be any sound since there's no particle to collide and transfer the energy. So it doesnt rely thoroughly to the ear to make sound. Okay, so no need to crap here. I did few shots around the wood and found a purple plumule and had some poyo shots, which goes like...

I look real ugly there, Iqbal has one too

Lameo. Okay so Siti has come back home from the workshop called car medic, yeah happy to have feet(transportation) again. Papa has been bugging me to go for job hunting, maybe he has enough of me doing unproductive doodlings. Thinking MidValley is the best spot since i'll just park at the ktm for free and take the train to work.Here's my abrupt end, cheers.

Everyday is Bday

Italianese use to be a favorite spot of mine, probably because of the food and Italian atmosphere but I guess as time pass, they fail to maintain the quality, food doesn't really satisfy the taste buds , service is unfriendly. Anyways, today I finally had time to hang out with Fatiha who doesn't change much since the last time I saw her, still very exciting and still is a shopaholic. Then, had myself spending my kachinng for a topshop turqoise dress, apparently under the influence of a shopaholic. Its a good buy anyways.


yeayy tomorrow will be going for hiking!!

Police arrest him, he stole my heart.

On the Saturday night, I had a Bbq













Overall it was fun, its an achievement to cook for a party of people and most of the dishes are my first timer. Very much grateful for having Iqbal to be there for me all along, good news is my parents start to like him which never happen before with my previous boyfriends since they're too picky. So I had a surprise 'birthday cake in advance' from Iffah, which really got me surprised. Love 'em ;)


Happy 19th Birthday to meeee ! =)
and to Bubu and also shafiq

Is this for me?

I'm missing my brother now, reminiscing on my younger years, he was there with me all the time, we grew up together, always had fights over small things on daily basis and would go for any kind of adventures e.g tangkap berudu, masuk longkang, lompat bukit dgn basikal, etc etc. But things get different when we were seperated which I had to go to kuantan and he had to study in Penang. And it get worst earlier this year, just maybe Im not doing a good job as a sister. There are so many times I felt the adrenaline rush when I thought I'll be losing him because of the suspected leukimia and what we thought he was electrocuted few days back. I hope he knows even how meanie and lousy I act as a sister, deep down inside you're always the baby brother whom I love.

Run to the Sun

Happy birthday to big sis, kak Unie and Afiq nuramin =) Happy belated birthday to Sasha, Leayana ak, and Aiman for yesterday
Is it me or there's just too many people having their birthdays on late June. maybe its just me since mine's tomorrow and also Bubu's and Shafiq's etc etc

Lets recap on the daily do's

watch me watch you

friendly nail color

Loving the new bed sheet

the Scary Bugbear

The oreo cheesecake everyone loves

The three quater

Baby Lampard Munch

you'll want more ;P